At work (yeh, quarter past six on a Saturday—what the?). It wouldn’t be so bad if my random playlist didn’t seem so determined to make me cry


Things I Have Wanted To Text Or Say To You So Far Today

So this yesterday I ended up wandering through Dulwich (one of those little London villages) in the daylight (because I left my bag in the Plough there the previous night—the irony being that I would never have been here then if not for you). And all I could see in this place I’ve never been before were things; things that if you’d been with me (we’d have been smiling) I would have turned and said; some things I would have texted, if only I had your number. I have to tell someone, if only the silence of bits. In rough order:

  1. This is nice
  2. Milo has his own road
  3. Reminds me of York
  4. Reminds me of the pub next to the market in Norwich
  5. Look at the sheeps in the window
  6. Beagle!
  7. Nice pub-reminds me of the Centurian a bit
  8. The world is round
  9. When did everyone get so young?
  10. Does everyone come out in their pyjamas?
  11. Looks like a young David Tenent
  12. Stop looking at the pretty girls
  13. I miss you baby*
  14. I want to take you home to bed
  15. Read this thing I wrote—it’s about you

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Still Feeling Old

So really am feeling a bit old. Brought on a bit by a fortieth birthday party, and not helped by the fact it was my own birthday a couple of weeks ago,. This Metafilter post tipped me over the edge. Was Xiao Xiao really back in 2001? I remember seeing it at the time—or at least not long after its emergence (I think this is probably down to Andy Kale but I could be wrong). I’d just started my PhD, a whole new world and experience.

Since then I’ve learned a lot about how hard (and interesting/rewarding) real science is. I’ve been engaged twice (one of those women is still a pretty good friend—life lessons: Sometimes things go wrong; some of those things are you’re fault, some others, some no one’s. It’s not worth fighting over. The other is… well, unavailable—life lessons: Pretty much the same, except so much worse). I’ve got older. I’ve learned (am learning) to actually work, rather than mess around as a student. I’m tired more. Seem to have less time for the interesting things, and less idea of of what those interesting things are.

Anyway, just saying.

Is this what being a grown up is?